Daring Greatly

 So in my first blog, I made a pretty personal confession of a deep routed fear that was preventing me from living a healthier life. Well, it’s been almost 4 weeks and I feel that I have fully left that fear behind me. 

The thing about admitting your vulnerability, is that once it is out in the world. It’s more real. I said my fear to that poor male dr that was just trying to teach me how to check my blood sugar and boom. I realized it is a problem. And once I accepted this, it was time to confront it.

In the next few posts I mentioned that when I was a child, I made a list of things that make me happy to help cope with things that were completely out of my control.

I like lists, tangible data that helps reinforce an end result. My happy list, grocery lists, and now tracking my blood sugar. Let me explain. I do not own a scale, and that is what’s best for me, especially right now. I get obsessed with the numbers going doing and get frustrated when I plateau or see no changes for a while. Also, with a scale, I find myself less accountable because it’s long term data, not short term. It’s easier to cheat and eat poorly when changes aren’t immediate. I do know I lost 7 pounds the first week… but only because they weighed me at my follow at the Drs. I will be going back in September, and it’s totally fine with me if that’s the next time I weigh myself. 

In contrast, with checking my blood sugar, there is extreme accountability. You see how what you ate THAT DAY affects your body. It’s tangible proof that I am doing well. And if my blood sugar is in the right place, the pounds will follow and I can avoid focusing on what has lead to my downfall in the past.

So for today, I am going to make a positive list of motivation on things I am looking forward to once some of the weight comes off:

1. Fitting on amusement park rides. I love amusement parks and I look forward to going to one again in the near future.

2. Shopping in stores in person with my friends, without having to go to special stores just for me. 

3.Wearing a two piece at the beach

4. I would like to learn how to REALLY dance. Lyrical probably. 

5. I would hope losing weight will eventually lead me to being less clumsy. Maybe I will be able to like, walk down the stairs without falling.

6. Once my blood sugar levels have been in the green for at least 3 months solid, I would like to reward myself with a tattoo of my favorite lyrics on my forearm with a flower. " And that's all you need to know" I will have to get permission from my Dr for this because diabetics do not heal as well (cuts or wounds) so my Drs and I will have to be on the same page before this happens. 

On a completely different note, cooking has been fun. Made chicken piccata and substituted the pasta for my spinach with veggies and it was ::insert kiss sound here:: getting Pretty good at cooking.

Also, with my newfound energy, I have started to read again. I am currently reading about a girl who MIGHT be on a road trip with a serial killer. It's called Survive The Night. I dig it so far. Would reccomend for my fellow true crime junkies. ATTWD, MORBID, SSDGM

Also, thank you all for the love and support after I posted my before and after. It was scary but I am glad I did it. 

On a final note, for those who have been asking about tips for dieting I leave you with this:

If you are left hungry at the end of the meal, you are not dieting right. Changing habits means that you need to be satisfied and full with GOOD choices. More proteins, less sugars. More filling veggies, less crap that was designed to be addicting and leaving you wanting more. I am in no way starving myself and I feel great. 

...and I really don't think we need bread.

THAT BEING SAID I HAD A FEW BITES OF BREAD THIS WEEK (A SPOON OF CAKE FOR A CO-WORKERS BIRTHDAY AND A BITE OF LEMON POPPY BREAD FROM STARTBUCKS AND MY GAWD IT WAS DELICIOUS. So like, I get how the rest of the world would never give it up. sploosh 

much love

Sam



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